Sinusoidal, Exponential, Reciprocal

Posted by Ethan

The title says it all. It's the kind of emotions I've been experiencing for the past few days. For those people who aren't that proficient in graphs, here's some explanation:
-Sinusoidal: Ups and downs
-Exponential: Strictly increasing
-Reciprocal: Decreasing

If you still can't get it, let me put it in simpler terms. For the past few days, i was feeling uncertain, bouncing between being joyful and being devastated, followed by the feeling that there was hope, and was elated, then feeling down when the hopes were dashed. Perhaps, it's just me... I don't know if I'm cheating myself into believing that something good might actually turn out of this. I'm lost and confused by your actions, and what you've said. My emotions, still reciprocal, from the current status. Haix... Feeling low.

Then, when I'm going through emotional roller coasters, there would be a birth of a song. yup. This song is inspired by someone that have always been special to me, and have changed my life. I've stop clubbing since I was with her, and got to know my Saviour. I don't know why I'd fall for her over again ( reminds me of secondhand serenade ), but that's the way things turned out to be. She's someone I've mentioned before in this blog, and, this song was inspired by her.( only the chorus part is done, as I was only inspired just a few minutes ago. lol. Will update when the other parts are completed)

Fragments
Composed by: Ethan

Chorus:
And I would sing to you,
The fragments of our memories~
All the loves, all the laughs,
And all the used-to-be's~

And I will treasure you,
If you said you'll be with me~
Now and forever, we'll work together,
For our Happily Ever~
After~~

Ethan a.k.a Cheng Yi ~ Guitarist

The day 160109

Posted by Ethan:

I asked Cai Feng to patch things up with me, but got declined. Lol. But i felt so much better after telling her how i felt and stuff. Finally got things off my chest, and we're still frens. Anw, there was this song i've written, which was inspired by our break up the other time, but didn't have the chance to share it.

So here's the lyrics, the background music would have to wait till I'm free to compose:

One-Sided Love
Composer: Ethan

Verse 1:
Everytime you're mentioned,
My heart would bleed inside
My ignited feelings for you,
Had never died.

I may look fine on the outside, but the fact is,
I'm shattered inside
Cos' I'm in love with you~
This is a:

Chorus:
One-sided~
One-sided~
One-sided Love

(used to be a...) Two-sided~
(now it's a...) One-sided~
One-sided Love

Verse 2:
Everyday when i go for work,
I would see your face,
The face that reminds me of,
Those happy days.

My mind might seem straightened,
But my heart's stuck in a maze
I'm still in love with you~
Stuck in a:

Chorus:
One-sided~
One-sided~
One-sided Love

(used to be a...) Two-sided~
(now it's a...) One-sided~
One-sided Love

Bridge:
You've said that I've treated you nice,
But i think you thought otherwise,
You lied~
You lied~
You lied~

We used to share tears of sorrows and joy,
But I'm alone now drinking rye,
I cried~
I cried~
I cried~

Chorus:
One-sided~
One-sided~
One-sided Love

(used to be a...) Two-sided~
(now it's a...) One-sided~
One-sided Love

This song does not depict what we've gone through, but its what I've felt at that moment. Hope you guys would like it. =)

Ethan a.k.a. Cheng Yi ~ Guitarist

A new year begins with a bad luck¿

Posted by Julian

Yes! a new year begins with a new wish! but i broke my precious PSP last week, how sad. Due to my carelessness, tripped when walking up the stairs which caused my bag to swing violently and hit on the stairs. PSP LCD Screen and Electric Board Cracked -.- and will cost $180 for the repairs. But, i still hoping i will have a good luck for the rest of this year. (I WAN A PSP! ANY LOBANG ANYONE?)

My frens told me that they didnt do well for their uni's, which infact, affected me a lot as i'm very worried that after wasting 2 years of NS, i wont be able to cope with IT stuff anymore. But still, i will apply NUS computer science to see if i'll be selected. (Still thinking of applying SMU) 
I guess i'll drop the idea of getting NTU scholarship after NS, as currently, i dont have any confident in my IT knowledge. maintaining a gpa of 3.8 is probably a challenge, but once i failed, i might need to pay back some money.. well i'll see how, as there's still a long way to go b4 my ROD. Hope its long enough for me to make decision for my uni.

Wishing 2009 will be a smooth sailing year for me, as well as Sacrifar and my friends! All the Best Everyone ALRIGHT¿!

Julian a.k.a. Hong Quan ~ Keyboardist

311208, 010109

Posted by Ethan

I don't know if it's an appropriate blog to start off the year, I've pondered this over for a week, and i just wanted to share what I've encountered. Perhaps, some of you could gimme some advice. =)

On the above mentioned dates, she came to my house, as her internet connection at home was screwed up, and desperately needs to gain internet access. Twas kinda weird, cos she haven't been to my house before, even when we were together. Now that we've broke up, we seem to be closer than before. Maybe i appeared too possessive in a relationship, but i think that she have misunderstood me.

311208:
Came to my house around 1 plus, she was gaming and i was studying, until around 5 plus. I took a bath and got ready to attend the Countdown Party at my grandma's. I've invited her to the barbeque, and she readily agreed(from what I've perceived). Jerilyne was there along with her boyfriend and we played poker cards till around 8 plus, when she said that she's gotta head home(guess it's some curfew or smth, but anw, a good idea, as a girl shouldn't be staying out too late). Originally, i wanted to walk her to the bus stop, but when the bus has arrived, I was reluctant to let her leave my sight then. So, i boarded the bus along with her. It's like dejavu. When we were together, there was once I've insisted in sending her home against her will, she was unhappy. However this time, she didn't appear to be so. I was happy. I was supposed to go off right after I've sent her home, cos i had to be back at grandma's. But, this was what we ended up doing: Nobody's at her house, so i went up to take a look at her new-borned puppy( really adorable). She said she was hungry, and i accompanied her to the supermarket to purchase some snacks. We returned empty-handed when she suddenly lost her craving for food(weird 0.0). We walked past a carnival nearby her house, and decided to take a look there. From the RC member, we got hold of the procedures regaring how to make reservations for the barbeque pit nearby her house, as i was planning to organise a birthday party for her. I went back to my grandma's, and i felt kinda lonely, not being able to feel her presence. It's been so long since i missed someone, i don't know how it feels like. Perhaps, i was missing her. I don't know. On the overall, i was contented with the day, and i could sleep with a smile on my face.

010109:
Supposed to be a band gathering, but YY had to be at a chalet with her friends. Skythe tagged along and, he got drunk =.= Julian went over to oversee the matter, as she was at my house for the same reason. Before that, Julian came by my house to play monopoly, as requested by Jerilyne. Since there was a shortage of players, I was left with no choice but to join the game. She sportingly agreed to join in the game, even though she thinks it's really childish. Lol. She's more compromising than before, when we were together. I'm glad. Perhaps she was at my house, so she feel obligated to be compromising. I'm not sure. We went over to the Koufu at Rivervale Plaza, Julian headed for Skythe at sentosa, Jerilyne went out with her boyfriend. =)
We had dinner together, and i sent her to the bus stop. She said that i didn't have to wait for the bus with her. After ending her statement, the bus arrived. Maybe she was hinting that i shouldn't send her home, so i didn't board the bus. That day was really simple, maybe mundane to many. But i was joyous, as i got to see her and spend time with her.

Till date, i still have strong feelings for her. Like lyrics of the song I've written when we broke up, ' My ignited feeling for you~, had never died~'. I really don't know if she has feelings for me still. Those two days gave me hope that we could be together, but now, we seem a little drifted. Her pre-paid card was out of value( couldn't msg her), and she's not online today, couldn't really talk. I really hope to be with her still, but don't know if she'll accept me. Hope to contact her real soon, to get closer to her, to understand her more, and finally, maybe betogether with her. =)

I hope this time, it's enough to last.

Pray that God Bless this relationship, put it under Your Grace.

Ethan a.k.a Cheng Yi ~ Guitarist